Hello all! I talked before in God’s Lady parts 1 & 2 about the necessity of the father’s validation and the Heavenly Father’s validation for little girls. Their confidence and knowledge in God starts from the teaching of the father and example of the mother. As young girls grow up, they should understand their goal is to please God, not others because it can become very easy, especially around middle and high school, to try to please your peers. This comes from trying to prove something: they fit in.
I also talked about who you keep as your company and how it affects you. I ended the post on having good standards and that is what I want to pick up on today. 1 Corinthians 6:18 (NVS) says to “flee from sexual immorality” because it is a sin to your own body. Self-respect definitely comes in here. When we realize that sexual immorality is a sin against our own bodies, it helps make better decisions. Over and over again we are told “no sex before marriage”, but no one says why! This is why!!! And we should discuss this with our children so they will know! When young ladies get into relationships, handling that relationship the proper way begins with the father’s validation, the Heavenly Father’s validation, example of the mother, setting those standards, and the company you keep. If you have that validation, you know who you are and whose you are and no one can tell you how pretty or great you are because you already know! If you have that righteous example from mom, you know what being a lady looks like and others do too, and when others see that, they know you respect yourself and that you have standards. Those standards tell others how you want to be treated and anything less is not acceptable. And if you have good friends, you don’t have to worry about people being in your ear talking you into making wrong decisions, and they will actually be there to say, “No, leave them alone” or “You know better.” When one of these is missing, getting into bad relationships begin, and for some reason, it’s hard to get out! Something has to give. It’s either the trying to prove something, the trying to please someone else, or even your own confidence or standards need to be reevaluated. Until one of these is done, it’s hard to get out of those bad relationships. As God’s ladies, we should be striving to be wives, not every other dude’s girlfriend, anyway. I had always been the type that if I knew it didn’t have a chance, I didn’t even bother. I didn’t see the point in having a boyfriend unless they were someone I could see being my husband, a leader, and follower of God. But, because of changes of what I was being taught and the people around me, it had an effect on me. What I’ve learned is that we have to teach our children constantly. We can’t just teach them and then when they turn a certain age, like 12, just stop. It needs to continue as long as they are under your roof. When they move out, they should be equipped with the knowledge on how to handle themselves in a Godly manner with no compromise. Even if they do mess up, they will know how to get it back right, “train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 (NVS)
Now if you are in a relationship, ladies, here is something that I would like to bring to your attention. The bible describes specifically what love is (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). Being in a relationship with no love is becoming very common nowadays. The set of questions below are a great way to help evaluate your relationship:
1. Are you patient with each other?
2. Are you kind to each other?
3. Are you never envious of each other?
4. Do you never boast to or about each other?
5. Is your relationship characterized by humility?
6. Are you never rude to each other?
7. Are you not self-seeking?
8. Are you not easily angered with each other?
9. Do you keep no records of wrongs?
10. Are you truthful with each other?
11. Do you protect each other?
12. Do you trust each other?
If yes to ALL—Love
If no the ANY—a discussion or decision is needed
(questions are from: www.christiananswers.net)
When true love is actually present in a relationship and the decision to get married is made, a whole new ball game comes into play. Marriage is work, and as God’s ladies, we have to know and understand our role in order to help make that marriage a successful one and one that pleases God. I went through the whole independent woman phase before I got married. I knew I was ready for marriage because I had my own everything, and I just didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel natural that I was running EVERYthing and doing EVERYthing. I realized that some things a man needs to. I needed my “superman” to come take over! I started talking to God about my role as a woman and how I was starting to understand His order. I told God I would be happy with myself and who I was as an individual and whenever He sent my husband to me I would be appreciative, if it were 2 weeks or 2 decades. I had to be happy with myself and not trying to prove to everyone else I could do everything. A few months later, God sent my husband right to me! “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” (Proverbs 18:22, ESV) He found me! LITERALLY! I will have to share in another post how it all happened, but there he was, at my doorstep!
He came and took that load I didn’t need to be carrying off of me. But it was amazing to me how I was so into being an independent woman before and it actually felt natural to submit to my husband! It felt natural to do things to build on his ideas or when he couldn’t figure something out, I was ready to help. Being a help meet to my husband is more satisfying, natural and gives more peace than being an independent woman ever could have. In Genesis 2:18, God created man first then woman to be a helper to the man. This is why it feels natural. As women, we are designed to be helpers to our men. Too many women stay in that independent woman mindset and try to rule the man. There is no peace in that, and it is not natural. Men don’t like that! By men, I’m talking about real men. Let them function in their role and your role will follow suit. This is where communication comes in. Knowing his goals should already be discussed, and your goals as God’s lady should be to do what helps your man reach his goals. A really great way for it to work out is if what you personally like to do or hope to achieve actually lines up with his goals or actually helps him reach those goals. The man leads, but it’s still teamwork! I know us women always get the idea of the man being the boss of everything when we hear about submitting. But it means we as women let the men take on their role, let them take our hands and lead the way while we help make the journey easier or more practical in some situations.
Basically, when we learn to follow the order that God has set in place, it makes for happier marriages and happier ladies of God. Remember, Proverbs 31:10 says, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.” (ESV) This is how we are seen as women of God, women with validation and standards, women with self-respect and confidence, women that submit to their husbands…God’s Lady.
Continue to read Proverbs 31:11-31 for more on a woman of God.
-Amy M.
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